


Rik and Ade (One-shots)

by Postsynthcomrade5



Category: British Comedy RPF
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gen, One Shot, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2019-11-04 16:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17901296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Postsynthcomrade5/pseuds/Postsynthcomrade5
Summary: Mayallin Monroe





	1. Another Writing Session

It was the mid-1980s, 

Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson were a duo of British comedians who were becoming quite popular

usually, they'd be full of ideas, attacking each other in the form of slapstick or physical comedy or reenacting plays to each other

this time they were at the local pub, trying to think of jokes to write...

Ade stuffed his cigarette in the cigarette bowl on the table,

"I think we've finished the script now, we should be going"

Rik chuckled to himself as he drank more of his beer

"Alright, but what about this, instead of the Cure what about the Cold?"

he stared back at his best friend, who looked quite pissed 

"Don't be stupid, besides The Cold already exist, they're an underground new wave band"

Rik let out a yawn, "Oh, Alright, well at least we're done now"

he stumbled out of his chair, 

Ade held out his hand, "No, mate your not driving tonight"

he made a snarling facial expression "Ade, I'm fine,"

Ade turned his head, "How much have you had to drink?"

he looked confused "When haven't I had a drink today, and why are you slagging me off, you drink just as much as me"

Ade had enough, he grabbed Rik by the shoulder and dragged him over outside to where his car was parked

"Get in" he bluntly said, as he opened the car door waiting, for his intoxicated pal to come to his senses

Rik whined as he folded his hands overdramatically "you can't make me, I'm the one who drives"

Ade rolled his eyes "If you drove this car, we would crash and I'd have to pay the damages"

"FINE" he groaned as he clambered into the car and sat frowning

halfway through the ride, however, he had dozed off

Ade had let go of the steering wheel and stopped the engine 

he nudged Rik's shoulder to awaken him "Uh Rik? Rik? you there"

Rik couldn't hear him he was too busy enjoying a dream as he lay his head against the seat

Ade asked again, "Earth to Rik Bastard Mayall, can you hear me?"

Rik let out a yawn "what do you want?" he calmly said

Ade took out a cigarette and smoked for a bit "your home, we went out drinking, Barbara's waiting for you"

that made him smile, he almost nodded off again, so he caught hold of Ade's shoulder as they walked up to the front door

Ade explained "Sorry Barbara, another late writing session, he got too drunk and I had to drive him home"

Barbara nodded "Oh dear, don't worry Ade, I'll look after him"

Ade rolled his eyes "yeah, he's been doing my head in all night"

Barbara smirked "he probably likes writing with you, your like a brother to him"

Ade coughed, "Well we are comedy partners, he already has a brother, but I guess can see what you mean, Goodnight 

before Rik fell to the ground again he glanced at Ade and waved back at him before giving Barbara a kiss


	2. Stunts gone wrong

Rik and Ade were preparing for their Dangerous Brothers sketch but something had gone wrong,

in the middle of a scene where Ade's legs had caught fire, it didn't stop and the flames went up too high

he had a safety codeword to use but he couldn't remember it 

he just stood for a while, with his legs burning like a forest fire while he stood down to try and frantically get rid of the flames.

the producers still didn't notice, the fire was shown in the edited version, Sir Adrian Dangerous and his stunt partner Richard Dangerous had noticed something went wrong

"Put me out you bastards!" he yelled, Richard noticed what had happened so he yelled at the producers holding his hands out "Stop filming! stop filming!"

eventually, the fire was extinguished but Ade's legs were burnt and his eyebrows were singed, looks like his protective clothing wasn't that "protective".

this wasn't the only time stunts wouldn't go well

earlier on with The Young Ones, in season 1, they were just starting out with the new special effects the BBC had given them but some were more powerful than they had expected,

it was a scene where Rik and Nigel were playing their Rick and Neil characters perspectively 

their characters were fighting only for a fire effect to go off, it was quite the explosion and Rik was dangerously close to where the oven was, where the effect had been planted,

he flailed his arms about for the scene and thankfully he was ok, but that was a close call.

then eventually with the Bottom Live shows, Rik and Ade would be up to all sorts of stunts

from slapstick, explosion effects to electric shocks, a lot of weirdness was going on, it was quite fun for them and the audience, but their health wasn't in good shape, after one show, they had to be sent off to the emergency room,

Rik and Ade sat in their beds aside from each other chuckling to themselves, "I swear even when we're old men we'll be doing carnage like this we're like Laurel and Hardy"

 

Ade smirked back "it won't be long until we're old men"

 

Rik folded his hands and thought for a second "you know this could be what the final Bottom or Young One's episodes would be like? just a bunch of old men messing around"

 

Ade chuckled "yeah, but by that time I think we will have retired by then"

Rik ignored Ade's response he could see Barbara in the distance, "Ah! my lovely wife" followed by Rik's three children running up to see their daddy, who had been stitched and bandaged up like an old toy.

 

he gave each of his kids a cuddle as Ade looked only to see Jennifer standing in front of him with their daughters next to her.


	3. Just wasn't the same

It was the end of the 1990s, the new Millennium was just beyond the horizons and Rik and Ade were not Young Ones any more

Ade had been doing more solo work between the Bottom live shows and Rik had been in a few films while recently finishing the guest House Paradiso movie

they were going for a walk with each other through Ade's sheep farm,

they'd have the odd cigarette and joke with each other, but the atmosphere was a bit different 

they looked at each other while holding each other's hands as they stepped through the grassy fields 

while they still enjoyed working together, a particular incident had happened recently that changed things

ever since Rik recklessly crashed a quad bike and almost died, something was odd about him, he still was the same chill, relaxed bloke as before but he was more sensitive, his brain was affected a lot by the incident, so a lot of the stunts he would've done in the past he couldn't do anymore,he had seizure type symptoms but he wasn't going to let that stop him from doing what he loved best..it was still hard to come to terms with though, while he had accepted it he didn't like that he couldn't do what he could before,he was missing his old days, when he and Ade would shock each other, whack the other on the head and amaze millions with their antics,

it was a melancholy sort of feeling, he rarely felt "depressive" but underneath that projected ego, he felt weaker, he didn't like that, he didn't like how with interview's some people would speak to him like he was stupid, or address him as if he was a child and not a middle-aged adult man.

for Ade, he was still trying to process what had happened, some scenes would be harder to film, they would do more action/drama related content but it just wasn't the same.

while Ade had other friends besides Rik, Rik was the person he performed with most of the time, Rik had made many pals in the "show business" but they had pals of their own too, he felt more alone, even between the many voice-over gigs, Jesus Christ Superstar and the book deal he got, later on, he felt lost, he'd draw and listen to music to fill in that void, while also spending time with his children and wife.

it was really empty, even in his book there were pages of self-depreciation.

 

Sometimes he'd visit Ade's sheep farm to watch him pet the lambs and sheep he had now raised, it still felt empty 

as the 2010s came near, drama happened, he shrugged it off but he wished that Ade understood, looking at him at that time and before, still being able to have good memory, still being able to make people laugh, still being able to have a consistent social life, at least he didn't have the press harassing him or have a life-changing accident, lucky bastard.

 

there was one good time through, they were sitting in deck chairs like they would've in the 70s or 80s, joking about the good old days, while they had cola instead alcohol in hand, it felt nice 

unfortunately, his heart couldn't take the stress, bad health effects and his candle had burnt out years later

Ade has kept his contact on his phone, their shows are still available to watch and stream, comedy is still an active medium, but it just hasn't been the same since he left, hopefully, we can help keep that memory alive...


	4. Fancy Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mayallin Monroe

It was fancy dress night at the Groucho club, everybody else was getting dressed up as a famous icon, Ade was dressed as Roger Taylor from Queen, Nigel was someone from Lord of the Rings or Shakesphere and now they were just awaiting what Rik was going to wear...

 

he elegantly walked in, but there was something different about him...

 

he had a DRESS on, he'd usually only have a dress on if he was playing the role of a woman, his pin up dress was a red,sparkling and long, he had matching slip ons, silver earrings and a bit of lipstick too

 

he smiled cheerfully as he walked over to the pub counter to order a pint 

 

Ade looked at him confused, "Mate, what are you wearing?"

 

Rik turned his head unfazed, he blinked and grinned as he spoke in a slightly higher voice

"Who?,me" he smirked and giggled getting back to the pint he was drinking 

 

"Yeah who are you?", the others said 

Rik stopped drinking and got back in character, "Why I'm, Marilyn Monroe" he then sung Diamonds are a girl's best friend in his high pitched voice 

it sounded quite nice,the others were jawdropped as he blinked innocently smirking,only for Ade to stumble over and offer his hand as they danced for a while

 


	5. the drunken appearance on the Tube

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based of these clips:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cu93seaZq-c&t=13s  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXUWTQkmOos  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owsY7xexJQs

During the mid-1980s, on Channel 4 there was a new show similar to Top of the Pops which was on called The Tube

 

Jools Holland had just booked one of the most popular comics of the decade...the one and only Rik Mayall, this was during his prime so Jools could tell that this was going to be great,

 

Unfortunately, Rik wasn't his usual self, it was a Friday night, there were bottles upon bottles of booze in his dressing room, sometimes he would drink with his comedy partner Ade while generating ideas but this time he was by himself, he had a light brown fringe and light blue eyes, as for his outfit he was donning a light pink shirt and a fabulous green jacket with darker shades on his lapels, with some black trousers and shoes.

He also had a bandage on his left hand,this was unlike his previous tv show appearances, where the contrast would be that he was professional and chill while his characters were weird and moronic,this time it was hard to tell if he was acting or not as he had drunk almost every bottle of booze in his dressing room,he was stumbling about the place like he had no idea where he was or what he was doing,

*knock *knock* went the door as Jools Holland was wondering why Rik was taking so long to get ready for his TV appearance, 

when Jools walked in with his camera crew, there were some strange sites to be seen, there were cups, bottles and spray cans on his dressing room table as Rik was looking down at the sink with his voice stammering while he drunkenly sang the song "Fame" by Irene Cara

"I'm gonna live, I'm gonna live forevvver~!"  

he had been sick while singing the song so there was a slight stain on his suit, "I'm gonna learn how to fly hi-"  Rik stopped singing as he held his hands up in the air and fell to the ground,

Jools Holland held out his hand and said: "Rik uh look, Thanks for coming on the show!"

Rik was completely disorientated as he had stumbled, with his right arm leaning over the table while his left one was by his side, he looked up at Jools

"Who are you?"

Jools held onto Rik's left hand and helped him stand back up while he picked up another bottle,

Jools introduced himself "Uh, Jools Holland?"

Rik smiled as he offered the bottle  "Would you like a little drink?"

Jools declined, "Uh no thanks not on the television like,"

Rik mumbled it's alright as he then glugged down the booze bottle slightly spitting out some of the booze down his shirt,

Jools simply said, "Oh"

Rik smiled and asked, "Would you like to see a trick?"

he then burped as Jools responded "Uh Yeah, uh that'll be great I'm sure all the fans would love to see a trick"

Rik said "little trick" as he glugged more of the booze

he then spat out some of the beer blowing a raspberry

Jools responded, "Ah, well that's absolutely great, Rik "

Rik then set the beer bottle on the table "I, I got lots, lots of tricks" 

he picked up a deflated blue balloon, Rik was stumbling over his words due to his drunkness "what, what, what's this?"

he then held up his knuckles "Which hand?"

Jools pointed to Rik's left hand, "this one?" Rik said "No", Jools then pointed to his right hand  "this one?" and Rik still said "No"

Rik then said, "Both of them" chuckling and blowing a raspberry as he gave his signature "up yours" hand gesture only to then fall to the ground again

Jools said "That's great, that's great to have a great comedian like yourself"

Rik then started to blow the blue balloon "This is my best trick"

as he was trying to blow the balloon, Jools said, "you certainly had a lot to drink in here"

the balloon got bigger and bigger, the balloon then deflated and Rik passed out

Jools was worried, "Oh God, he's passed out, somebody helps me, somebody help me, Rik? wait are you ok?", are you ok? he's passed out. he then poked his cheek with one of the booze bottles,

"quick! Rik? Rik?"

Rik awoke as he looked up, he couldn't remember a single thing  "Uh, Who are you?"

Jools said, "Jools Holland, you're on the television"

Rik mumbled "that's bad"

he then took out some money from his blazer pocket, handing it to Jools, "Thank you very much"

Rik then smirked "Take your trousers off"

Jools said, "No, I don't want to take my trousers off"

Rik smirked even wider "I'll take my trousers off"

Jools said, "No, No, you passed out on live television, on live television"

Rik said, "maybe just a quick?"

Jools mumbled, "live television"

Rik sat himself down on the dressing room table, smiling "Ah!, Good Evening" knocking over some of the bottles scattered on the table,

he then addressed the camera "a funny thing happened to me on the way to the theatre tonight I got completely drunk, uh but no matter on with the show"

Rik told a joke "Uh what's pink and hangs out your y front?, it's your knob, he then realised he had told the joke wrong "No, it's your mum, it's your mother, uh that hangs out your, he paused,

"anyway, on with the show and now I'd like to do my world famous impression of the king, Elvis Presley, as you've never seen him before" he snorted and then cleared his throat as he then held onto his trouser zip "I'll just take my trousers off",Jools was unsure "uh" then Rik asked, "could you fetch the dog?"  

Jools was unsettled as he held his hand in front of the camera "Uh, Alright thank you  as he started to leave, Rik said, "Uh no, it's ah, it's very"

"that's quite enough Rik, Thank you, No really, Rik that is quite enough I don't think" trying to leave the room

Rik was still there, "It's unheard of!" he exclaimed,

he then waved to the security person as Jools Holland then dragged him by the ear, down the corridor, Jools Holland was very cross with him

"it's very well respected", Rik almost went into the women's bathroom  while Jools yelped "Not in the ladies!, Not in the ladies!"

Rik was still adamant about the Elvis joke "just a quick one" Jools holland was luckily able to grab him by the arm back to the corridor "Ah, Come On!"

just as they had almost reached the studio, with Rik stumbling, he was suddenly on the ground, again on his knees as he reached his hands up to Jools,

Jools said, "Leave my knob alone!",Jools continued to drag Rik through the studio room, "Just for a minute, until we can get you on stage"

Rik was still stumbling, "I'm fine"  Jools shouted again, "leave my knob alone!" Rik then shouted, "I know what to do!" "I know what to do"

Rik then hit his nose on the door, as he was dragged into the studio, gripping a tissue in his hand

Jools was handed a microphone "Thank you very much for coming", Rik then looked to the side, Jools said, "Not the bar, we don't serve drink in this one"

"come with me", Rik was still stumbling over, he was about to reach at to one of the crew members, 

the crew member slapped him slightly as Jools said: "Leave, Leave her alone!"

Jools and Rik scurried to the stage as Rik tripped over one of the steps, Jools said as he held his microphone "It's very kind of you to come up" "and I'll warm them up"

Jools then addressed the audience "Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time ever on the tube, this evening, for a proud, proud indeed moment for us to give you Britain's number one comedian, he's come here great expense today, he's a little tired and emotional

Rik felt very dazed as he looked into the camera, his nose was gushing with blood

but I think he's gonna but a great, a really great set on for you tonight, so let's have a great big hand for Rik Mayall please, Ladies and Gentleman"

Rik held onto his microphone and yelled "GOOD EVENING, Friends"

 

This wasn't the only encounter Rik had with Jools, one time during a promotional advert Jools Holland and Paula Yates were shooting they caught him walking out of one of the toilets wearing glasses and holding a cane, Jools paused and noticed the slight poke he felt from Rik walking out the door "and uh, Did you look in there?"

 

Jools was very cross "Oh my" he then punched Rik in the knob, knocking his glasses off as they started fighting inside the bathroom,

Rik mumbled "No, No, Don't hurt me, I'm a pensioner, I, I'm a 

Jools yelled "Where you're going" 

after the scuffle, Jools walked out and Rik yelped in a high pitched voice "mummy!"

Jools presented Rik's wallet, "I've got his wallet, there wasn't a lot in it, but a card that said he's got a band, so we'll give him a go and that's the kinda programme we are,

 

soon Rik was left outside but the cameras were still rolling and he was still pissed, he stepped outside he felt sick on the ground, the people from outside were disgusted 

Rik addressed the camera "It's Friday," It's half-past five, and the pubs are open"

he stumbled and forgot his own name "My name is Ziggy? and this is the tunnel, he then pointed to the tunnel nearby as the camera zoomed out 

"uh, hole...uh thing?" as lighting could be heard from the sky,


End file.
